


Comfort, confront, mending relationships, with a detour by Krytis

by Skyinou



Series: Wants, Needs, Help, and a whole lot of trouble. [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28077321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyinou/pseuds/Skyinou
Summary: Catra's been saved from Prime, and after a rough time, she finally accepts she wants to be better. Still on their way back to Etheria, Catra wakes up and get confronted by Glimmer while looking for some water.“It feels… nice.” Glimmer says, almost shy.“What? The cleaning duty?”“No! You know… talking from the same side of the wall, for once.”
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Series: Wants, Needs, Help, and a whole lot of trouble. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2056884
Comments: 8
Kudos: 166





	1. Glimmer, queen of kindness

Catra wakes up with a start, ears perked up, alert to the slightest sign of threat, but the only sound she can hear is the low rumbling of the ship, taking her away from Horde Prime, and as she opens her eyes, the sight of a sleeping Adora finally lets her relax, letting out the breath she only now notices she was holding.

Catra’s head is nested against Adora’s chest, safe inside her embrace, the same way she fell asleep. But her ears are still tense from the rough waking up, her tail all puffed up, claws all out, luckily enough not reflexively jabbed into Adora’s nor her own skin, her fur is standing up, messy; she needs to breath.

It’s so frustrating, she feels like her own body is betraying her. She had spent most of her childhood, all of it really, learning to hide her emotions and teaching her peculiar body to respond exactly as she wanted, fearing the retribution of Shadow Weaver for having shown weakness, or simply to avoid the glare of others. She built walls around herself to block it all, only leaving a single door for Adora to poke through. And for a long time now that door had been sealed shut.

When Adora left... She hates wording it like that, because now it seems it should have been so easy to take her hand and follow her. And Adora came back for her again when there was nothing left, accepted her, even willing to mend their broken friendship. Catra knows she would be ready to slowly open that door again, for Adora, and maybe take down those walls, brick by brick to let others in, gently, slowly.

But that’s the problem now, because Prime shattered these walls when he forced his way through her mind with the whole chip thing. There’s only rubble left and no more door, no clean way to guide her emotions. And as much as she could want to hide behind words, her body itself wouldn’t lie anymore.

Catra turns her attention to the girl asleep so close to her, forcing her thoughts to go somewhere else. But she feels tired, aching all over, and her throat is burning. Her eyes fall on an empty bottle of water left next to the bed. She chuckles, reminded of the fact she probably hasn’t had much more to drink than the content of that little bottle in a day and a half. At least that pain should be easy to ease. She quietly leaves Adora’s side, her heart dropping at the immediate lack of warmth, but she knows she’s not going far, not for long, not this time.

She makes her way to the storeroom, grabbing another bottle of water and chugging it down, only now realising how thirsty she was. Feeling better, and thinking more clearly, she notices she probably didn’t sleep much, but her sleep was peaceful; no nightmares, no flashes. She’s pretty sure Adora’s strong arms and their warm embrace have something to do with that. She smiles shyly.

Suddenly her ears pick up a noise, steps. Without thinking, she hides behind a crate.

“Catra?” Glimmer’s voice surprises her.

Catra flinches but stay hidden, not knowing how to respond.

“I can see your ears.” Glimmer resumes in a playful tone.

She always did that as a child. On purpose or unconsciously, every time she ran away and hide, she would always let her ears or tail visible, making sure Adora would find her if she came looking out for her… _when_ she came looking. She never failed to.

“Just tell me if you want to be left alone. At least tell me if you are okay, if you need anything?”

Glimmer voice is calm, kind, almost loving. A voice one would use to speak with a frightened child. And with her emotions exposed, Catra feels like one. And it makes her mad, defensive, weak. She turns her back against the wall, hugging her knees, glaring at Glimmer.

“What are you doing here?” Catra says a bit more harshly than she wanted, not even answering the question.

“Just grabbing some water. You?”

Catra sneers, showing her own bottle. Glimmer smiles. Not what Catra expected. Just a simple smile. She’s not sure now what she expected. A glare back? A frown? Anger? Impatience? Her expression softens.

“I’m fine.” she finally answers. “I’m tired, aching all over, but I’ll be fine.” she elaborates. If she wants to be better and stop hurting people, she might as well begin by opening up a bit to Sparkles. She knows the princess is not the least to deserve her apology. In this dimly lit room, her in a dark corner, Glimmer standing in the light coming from the hallway, in the middle of the night, the sight seems fitting. She always found the princesses, Sparkles most of all, way too bright to take them seriously. To understand them.

“Okay.” Glimmer says as she leaves the light and plops herself down against the wall, next to Catra, who’s now blinking not knowing what to make of the gesture. Glimmer hugs one of her knees against her, resting her head on it and looks at Catra. The princess open her bottle of water and start to drink, eyes still on Catra, who finally takes a gulp of her own bottle. “Did Adora punch you awake in her sleep?”

Catra spills a mouthful of water on herself, startled, as Glimmer is nearly laughing, a big grin across her face.

“That reminds me of that time we decided to make Adora try all sorts of drink.” Glimmer starts again. “She told us she had nearly never tasted any other drinks than water. So after a few sweet ones, we gave her a super bitter one telling her it would be sweet too. You know her, she eagerly tried it, only to spat most of it with a disgusted face. She’s still wary of new drinks from us now!”

“We used to do that to Kyle,” Catra begins. She knows Sparkles is just trying to distract her, to help her talk, she can work with that. “the whole… messing up with him while he was trying to drink. Then sometimes he would fight back, and the room would end up in a mess. Then Octavia would show up and scold us all, when I didn’t manage to get away in time. And as punishment, we would be on cleaning duty for like a week!”

“It feels… nice.” Glimmer says, almost shy.

“What? The cleaning duty?”

“Nooo! You know… talking from the same side of the wall, for once.”

Catra looks at her, eyes wide, but she’s right. As much as Catra wants to forget about the whole Prime’s ship experience, the multiple regular talking sessions with Glimmer, back to back, separated by the prison force-field were nice, and now there isn’t even that between the two of them.

“We mostly talk about Adora, though.” Glimmer continues. “Even in that short time I’ve known her, she did so many silly things.”

Catra flinched. It wasn’t intentional, but once again, she’s reminded of the fact that she let Adora go. A tear starts to fall from her eye, and her voice breaks as she asks. “How am I supposed to deal with it? With the fact that I could have just join you guys. It should have been so easy.”

Glimmer interrupts her with a swift gesture of her hand. “ _Simple_. Not _easy_.”

“How is that any different?” Catra says, sobbing, but curious at the correction.

“You are smart, Catra. If it had been easy, you would have done it. But it really wasn’t. Nobody ever taught you how to do that, to care, to drop your pride and anger, to let go and accept Adora’s helping hand. So as simple as it was, there is no way you could have done it. Sometimes, the simplest things are the most difficult to see, because they are simple, tiny, and you had nobody left to tell you where to look at that time.” For a second, Glimmer remembers a ship, leaving for Beast Island. She had missed something simple too. But right now, it is about Catra, not her.

“But I hurt so many people, how couldn’t I see it?”

“You see now, don’t you?” Glimmer says softly.

“Why are you kind to me?”

“I’ve been raised like that. I’ve been taught to be kind. And growing up, I started to believe... believe that it was the best way to be; not just because my mom told me to.”

Catra shivers at Angella’s mention. Her voice is pained and cracking. “I mean why are you so kind _to me_? You of all people should hate me! I can understand you accepting me on the ship because Adora told you so, and I got you out of Prime’s ship, but you are not even ignoring me, not even mad at me…”

“Catra!” Glimmer shouts, turning to face her, hands on both Catra’s shoulders, looking right into her eyes. “Of course I’m mad! I’m not kind to you because you deserve it, or because I’m a princess or Adora told me to. I’m kind to you because you _need_ it! Because that’s what friends do! And if I believe Adora, and you when you say you want to be better, then I want to be your friend.”

Catra curls up on herself, her eyes dropping unable to look directly at the queen. She feels small.

“Look at me.” Glimmer says more calmly, pushing Catra’s shoulders gently, and dropping her head slightly to meet Catra’s eyes again. “I’m choosing to give you a second chance, because everybody should have one. I’m choosing to be kind to you, because if I were harsh, acting all angry and throwing you in a cell, how could I expect you to be better after that!” Glimmer cups Catra’s head in both hands and continues, “Right now, you _need_ kindness, not punishment. And I’ll make sure that dumb head of yours understand! And when you do, you’ll repay that kindness ten folds, spreading it to other people who needs it. That’s the only way forward.”

Glimmer sits down again, back to the wall where she was before, letting a single hand on Catra’s shoulder.

“I know you don’t like people pointing it out,” Glimmer says softly, almost whispering, “but it’s okay to be lonely, it’s okay to need kindness, it’s okay to _need_ help. When you accept that, we’ll be there. And when you are ready, we’ll talk about the past, we’ll talk about my mom.”

Catra winces again. She glances at Glimmer, but there is no malice in the princess’s eyes, no intention to hurt. That is just how much _friends_ means to her. Not something taken for granted, not something you deserve or win, not something frivolous, but something you work for continuously and you stick with during the good _and_ the bad times, even after they screw up. “That seems hard.” Catra whispers.

“Yeah”, Glimmer answers, and continue as if reading her thoughts, “but that’s what makes it worth it, and believe me, it _is_ worth it. You can trust a member of the Best Friend Squad on that.” She looks a last time at Catra, making sure she’s alright after all that, then gets up and starts to walk out of the storeroom.

“Thanks, Sparkles.” Catra says in another whisper. Glimmer smiles back, and continues on her way.

Catra stays there for a few more moments, not really thinking about anything. After a last gulp of water, she takes another full bottle and makes her way back. She’s not ready to asks Glimmer for forgiveness yet, but maybe she can work towards it. At least she knows she has a chance to now.

The door of the room is open, for a second she fears that Adora is currently panicking, searching for her all over the ship, or maybe Adora just abandoned her. She tries hard to resist that last thought, since they finally started to patch their relationship before falling asleep. Thankfully, Adora’s head pops out of the open door, smiling. “Welcome back.”

Adora doesn’t ask, doesn’t talk about it, she simply takes Catra’s hand and they make their way back to bed. Adora is easy to read. Catra guesses she knows what happened, at least partly, so there is no need for words right now. And just like that, they lie down again. Catra nests her head against Adora’s chest, and Adora curls around her, as if they had never woken up.


	2. Ship's mending and Heart's repairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ship's falling apart and need all hands to do their parts. A good occasion for Catra to sit down and think while keeping her mind slightly occupied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do share your thoughts in the comments!

Catra wakes up with a start, again. She sighs. Ears, tail, claws, fur, every parts of her showing signs of the fear and doubt she didn’t even had time to process before feeling the reassuring arms around her. She dreads another midnight interruption to her peaceful sleep.

“Good morning.”

She freezes. Then slowly opening her eyes and looks up. ‘Well, that will be way better than last time!’ she thinks, calming down in an instant. Adora’s here, awake this time, looking at here, smiling… wait, smiling? Her eyes focus on Adora’s face, and she now sees a very strained, wry smile. Not one of pain or fear, at least, but nervous. Something’s definitely up.

“I kinda…” Adora starts, maintaining her weird smile, “need to go help Entrapta because you know, the ship’s old, and we kinda literally flew through Prime’s ship to get you out, and then we got shot at, and Entrapta started talking about the crushing void of space again, which makes me reeeeally uncomfortable right now, but I didn’t want to leave before you woke up, so now I need to go!!! Are you okay??? Do you need anything???”

Catra chuckles at Adora’s behaviour. “I’ll be fine!”, she says genuinely smiling and waves Adora off. She sees Adora jump through the door, stop, glance back, and seeing Catra still smiling, she’s off.

She’s happy that Adora stayed until she woke up, of course, but making sure the ship keeps them alive should be a priority. The priority. A chill runs through her spine. At least, under those circumstances. Staying alive. Making sure Shadow Weaver and Hordak didn’t kill her off. And she was almost ready to do the same with Prime. She’s cold, shivering, she hugs her knees against herself. How many atrocities did she commit in the name of her own survival?

How long did the idea of killing Glimmer lingered in her mind? That would have stopped Adora from coming. Definitely. And she could have dealt with Prime’s disappointment, making excuses, turning the facts around like she knows how to. Then she would have been truly lost. Even Adora couldn’t have forgiven her. Catra hates to admit it, but she feels that Glimmer saved her, not the other way around.

Hate. Rage. Those used to warm her up like fires. And now she only feels cold. Her brain knows now that it’s for the best, but she misses the familiarity of those emotions, like you miss the warmth of your home. She’s been offered kindness, compassion, tenderness, help, but it’s so unknown to her that it’s frightening. She’s been told so many times they were signs of weakness, and weaknesses are things she could never afford before.

Her ears pick up a noise, steps, again. And this time it’s Arrow-boy’s head that pops in the door frame. Adora didn’t close it behind her. Maybe on purpose. Maybe to help Catra feels free, or less lonely, or… ‘Aaargh’, she shakes her head, ‘it’s Adora I’m thinking about! Stop over-analysing stuff! She most likely just forgot or didn’t care about the door!’

“Hmmm, are you okay?” Bow says, not seeming to know how to react to Catra’s sudden gesture.

“I’ll be fine!” Catra answers frustrated. She feels like they are taking turn to come talk to her on purpose when her thoughts are spiralling in a bad way. As if they know better than herself what would make her feel better. It’s so annoying, and frustrating, and nice, and annoying! She readies herself to another lecture about kindness or whatever.

“Erm, oh, okay… mm, then…” Bow begins, apparently embarrassed of what he has to say. “could you give me a hand, please?”

Catra didn’t expect that. Her thoughts stop. She looks at him, incredulous, questioningly. She blinks. A moment passes.

“Okay?” Catra finely says, not sure of herself, but it’s not like she has anything else to do? Actually yes, she would rather hide and sleep, but the sudden and impromptu request roused her enough to toss that idea aside.

“Good. Here,” Bow drops a big basket full of colourful wires in her arms. “follow me.”

They navigate some hallways, until Bow stops, sits down and starts unscrewing a large panel on a wall. The ship isn’t that big, but it seems there are lots of little utility spaces for technical stuff. Catra has now a good understanding of how the technology of the Fright Zone works, but that’s something else. But again, it is space, obviously, it has to be more complex.

After a few moments, Bow now working with some tools unknown to Catra, she lays down her package and waits, curiously looking at Bow’s work. She can hear voices on another room. Entrapta giving short instructions, Adora and Glimmer answering back, mostly asking for precisions at Entrapta’s seemingly vague directives.

“Can you pass me a red one, please?” Bow asks.

Catra sits down on her knees, one of either sides of the basket on the floor. She rummages through the wires for a bit, and as she raises a thin red thread in her hand, she feels Bow glancing at it.

“No, a larger one.” Bow responds. She finds another bigger wire. “Thanks.” Bow smiles as he grabs it, and resumes his work with a serious look on his face once more.

After a few more exchanges, a few more colourful wires, Catra’s mind wanders to a time when they were still cadets, Adora and her. _Another wire._ Sure enough, a lot of training they did was exhausting and hard, but there were simple boring tasks too. Like serving dinner, helping a veteran with repairs like she’s doing right now. _Another wire._ Often with Adora, sometimes apart depending on their orders. And then they would spend hours talking about it, even though there was nothing much to talk about, really. _A last wire._

Silence. If not for the little clings Bow’s tools are making. His occasional grumbling. The low and soft rumbling of the ship. Catra closes her eyes to focus on the sounds around her. She can pick up Adora’s voice. She’s not trying to understand the words, just basking in its softness. She feels... calm. By the look of it, she’s flying on an old ship breaking apart, at a speed she cannot comprehend, in ‘the crushing void of space’ as Adora said earlier, in the middle of a war, but all she feels right now is the warmth coming back to her.

Catra opens her eyes again as she senses Bow moving. He leans back and stretches, apparently finished.

“Thanks,” Bow starts, and as Catra is ready to answer she did nearly nothing, he continues “for saving Glimmer.”

Catra feels like she shouldn’t be surprise anymore. But she still is. Not used to this. She knows Bow is honestly grateful, she can feel it. She also can see other emotions in his eyes too. Anger, sadness, grief. But that’s not what he’s choosing to express right now. That’s just how those people are, seeing the good parts, being grateful for them and making sure to express it. And the bad parts aren’t forgotten or ignored, nor are they shoved in your face to hurt you, they are carefully wrapped and stowed on a shelf, until they are ready to be unfold, and maybe resolved.

Catra understands it, yet it feels so foreign to her. It seems so appealing right now though. She always thought they were naive, ridiculously kind, reckless, stupid really. It’s all so contradictory and yet that’s what is saving her, making her feel alive again, like she’s got a proper future ahead of her as long as she’s ready to work hard for it. Work to make up for what she did, change herself, forgive. She feels about to cry from a mix of pain, regret, happiness, hope.

She slightly nods at Bow to acknowledge his thanks and he starts cleaning up and putting back the panel on the wall.

Catra can’t cry, not now. The others have all the more reasons to cry after many things she’s done, but they do not, they keep looking forward. She is compelled to do the same. She sniffles, wipes the beginning of a tear with the back of her hand and straightens herself.

“I’m okay.” Catra says, with a shy smile. She knows Bow didn’t ask. But she knows how she must look right now. She also knows Bow would worry about it, wether he voices it or not. She needs to recognise that and stop waiting for them to ask. If she believes she’s okay, believes she will be okay, it’s about time she starts showing it honestly.

The remaining of the day is spent in the same fashion. Except, if earlier she was quietly away in her own little world, now the hectic atmosphere is getting to her. Entrapta’s nervousness is frightening and contagious, because she usually has a solution for everything technical, and rarely shows any signs of having no solution to a problem. People are running around. Shouts, impatience, worries.

When everything finely calms down, it’s already past dinner time, and after a short meal everybody agrees to call it a day after double-checking with Entrapta that the ship won’t fall apart during the night.

Adora joins Catra in that little room at the bottom of the ship, where she slept the night before, instead of joining Glimmer and Bow in the regular bunkroom, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Catra likes it. It reminds her of when she used to sneak in at the bottom of Adora’s bed, in the Fright Zone.

Catra quickly falls asleep, once again her head against Adora’s chest, and Adora’s arms around her. Safe. Warm.


	3. Gravity and other attractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gravity, awkwardness, feelings that need to be aligned again.
> 
> “Why aren’t you laughing?” Catra yells at Adora, once she has closed the door.
> 
> “You... want me to laugh at you?” Adora answers. She’s well aware that her question doesn’t help, but she can’t think of anything else right now.

Another wake up. Another time she needs to relax her ears, retract her claws, flatten her fur and straighten her tail’s hair. She keeps her head’s messy. She doesn’t want to be reminded of when she was controlled if she passes a mirror or a well polished wall.

Catra checks. Adora is still fast asleep. She feels like she slept a long time, but with the unchanging lighting of this room it’s difficult to know. For the most part, the ship lights follow a normal day cycle of light and dark. Entrapta said something about it being more healthy that way. But the two rooms where they sleep and other storerooms are kept monotonously quite dark.

Her mind wanders around the ship. It helps. Makes her feel that it’s real. Storerooms, engine room, bunkroom, weird glowy-flashy room. Entrapta tried to explain what it’s for, but she had not the strength to decipher Entrapta’s fast technical speech. She will ask again. Incinerator, recycler, making-all-kind-of-stuff room. Apparently Entrapta can create tools and clothes in there. She remembers the princess talking about some for her, and a spacesuit. Does she need a spacesuit? Yesterday’s events pass before her eyes. She definitely needs a spacesuit.

Catra learnt that actually most of the ship troubles come from Entrapta, because she’s always tinkering, making the ship better, faster. And it usually works, but there’s sometime a little bit of a drawback she forgot and that takes half a day to correct. Catra can’t blame her for trying to get back as soon as possible.

And for what Catra knows about princesses, that’s just how it is. How they are. Not planning much, reckless, careless, strong, brave… or stupid? She looks at Adora, who’s grinning like crazy, dumb face, mumbling in her sleep. ‘Yeah,’ she thinks, ‘definitely stupid.’ She smiles fondly.

Then there is the food. Mainly it’s like the Horde’s ration bars. With the occasional actually-cooked side dishes. They had to be practical for such a long trip, but it seems some of the stuff is from the First Ones time. How crazy is that? And Entrapta, again, sometimes looks at her like she is a test subject after a meal, like she expects some kind of side effects.

Awkward. Weird. But it’s very Entrapta-ish isn’t it? Catra feels that the princess is interacting with her more on purpose, even though it’s plainly visible the Entrapta is not really any better at socialising than before, and very uncomfortable with it. But she is trying. Catra might want to learn a thing or two about that.

Catra feels movements next to her. Adora wakes up.

“Hey Adora.” She likes to say it. As if it was a greeting just for the two of them. She doesn’t like when other people say it. Does she now need to let Adora’s friends on it too? Does she still deserves to have something special with Adora? She doesn’t know.

“Hum, hi, good morning.” Adora answers.

The mundane greeting feels cold, distant. Catra gets up, forcing herself not to dwell on it. “Let’s get breakfast.” She adds. Adora beams at her energy, but she can’t hide a slight worry.

Soon they are joined by the others. Entrapta enthusiastically explains her last ideas and tweaks for Darla. Catra wonders if she even sleeps, at all? Does she even need to sleep? The other princesses seem normal on that regard.

Eating noises. Idle chatter. A stupid joke. Catra laughs, chokes on her food. Bow and Glimmer instantly laugh at her loudly. Adora does not laugh. They are annoying and Catra glare at them. But her focus is on Adora who appears uneasy, worried, as if she was not allowing herself to laugh.

Thankfully there are still a lot to fix today and Catra can turn her attention to the tasks Bow and Entrapta give her. They are all gathered on the bridge, when suddenly Catra can’t feel the floor anymore. She starts to panic, then she notices that everyone is now floating, weightless.

“Oh. That one controls the artificial gravity!” Entrapta exclaims.

“What’s that?” Catra asks, shaken by the experience.

Entrapta seems to think about it for a moment and explains, “The force.. thing that makes you attracted to the floor?” She seems used to dumb down the technical mishaps on the ship.

Catra tries to relax. At least, Entrapta has a vague grasp of what’s happening. But Catra hates it. Now she knows she definitely likes that gravity thing. She needs to feel her weight, the strength of her body which seems to be deflected now when she tries to grab the control panel she was working on.

“Woohooo!”

‘At least one idiot is enjoying this.’ Catra thinks, as she looks at Adora, floating at the top of the room, looping around, a big smile on her face.

Bow seems more anxious about why it’s happening than the effect itself. Glimmer doesn’t seem to care much, but it’s probably due to the fact she’s used to not have a floor under her feet with her teleporting ability. Entrapta is steadying herself with her hair as she tries to fix it. She still has a big smile on her face, though.

The gravity comes back. But with Adora still all the way up there, the fall seems painful. Well not actually painful because Adora is super strong, Catra thinks. Everybody tenses up at the impact. Adora sits up, rubbing her chin who took most of the shock. And laughters explode all over the bridge. 

“Oops, sorry!” Entrapta tries to say not even remotely stopping to laugh.

A happy tear forms in the corner of Catra’s eye. She had not laugh like that since forever. Bow and Glimmer are leaning on eachother to prevent them from falling on the floor. Adora shoots fake-angry looks at them. Except at Catra, who painfully notices that Adora is trying hard not to look at her at all, while still often glancing at her. 

The day goes on like that, with Adora maintaining an awkward distance with Catra each time one of them is the focus of any amount of teasing. And since yesterday was so stressful, today nobody else misses an occasion to laugh.

With the crew getting pretty tired by evening, the mood fortunately switch to something more calm and relaxed. Catra is afraid at first, that Adora may increase the distance between them even more, but Adora quickly proves her wrong. She sticks close to Catra, making sure she’s alright, but not being invasive. Showing affection without making her uncomfortable.

Catra feels weird. Not that long ago, before they grew apart, they could go through the good times without even a word. They knew exactly how much to tease eachother before it became really annoying. How much messing up they could do before the other would back away. It’s only once those bad times came that their communication was thrown out of whack. And now the situation is the opposite. After what they went through they can comfort eachother without even speaking, sensing when the other need a touch, when they need space, but when it’s time to have fun, they can’t understand eachother anymore.

Catra wonders if Adora really changed that much after becoming a giant princess with a sword. She doesn’t like it. What if becoming better means that much change in her too? What if she can’t ever hear Adora’s stupid snorty laughter again? Losing the Adora she knew. That thought scares her to death.

She feels a gentle but strong grip on her wrists.

“Catra.” A soft, familiar voice says. 

Only now she realises. She is sitting against a wall, all curled up, bot hand on her head, claws unsheathed very close to her skin. Barely stopped in time by Adora’s grip. Her panic stops as Adora take her into a soft hug. Warm, not possessive, not forced. Adora doesn’t ask. Catra retracts her claws and drop her head against Adora’s shoulder, hiding her tears.

She’s never been taught how to accept all this emotional stuff, how to deal with it, only how to repel it all. Adora is the only one she ever let in, she can’t lose her again.

After a moment, Adora stands up, still holding Catra’s arms. “You need a shower.” Adora says.

Catra looks up, still sitting on the floor, questioningly.

Adora hesitates. Ultimately she grins shyly. “You look like shit?” she tries, still awkward.

Catra flashes a bright smile, her face still covered with tears. She jumps up, freeing her arms in the process and throwing them both around Adora’s neck. She hugs her tightly, her chin against Adora’s shoulder. She feels Adora not understanding what’s happening, but for a second she doesn’t care. She lets herself purr at the warm sensation. Then she lets go, still smiling. She looks at herself and notices that with the events of the day, she does indeed need to clean up.

On their way, Entrapta interrupts them. “Catra, I need you for a moment. Come with me!”

Catra isn’t sure how to answer that, but one of her arm is already getting pulled away by a strand of purple hair.

She follows the princess in a well lit room, that apparently Entrapta has made her own little workshop. The main workbench is littered with diverse fabrics and other materials, and a half finished spacesuit. Catra’s eyes can’t help but fall on the helmet, which is endowed with two ear-shaped bumps. Her kind of ears, of course.

“Here.” Entrapta breaks off her thoughts. She’s holding out two sets of clothes and grey underwear. “I hope it’s okay for the tail. I’m not sure how to do a tail. I don’t have a tail.”

Catra flinches, reaching for the base of her own tail. True enough, she’s been wandering around the past few days in Adora’s spare top and shorts, in which she had improvised a tail hole with her claws. She might need to apologise for that later. They are a bit more than simple underwear and the ship is quite warm. In the Fright Zone everyone was used to be around others all the time, so wandering around in your underwear was quite normal. But still, she didn’t realise until now. Adora certainly would understand, though being properly clothed is probably better around the others.

“Thanks, Entrapta.” Catra answers.

“You’re welcome!” She replies happily. She seems to enjoy playing the seamstress of the ship.

Apparently it does involve a bit of tech, if the weird machines there are any indications, Catra ponders.

When she arrives back to her room, Adora’s already out of the shower, drying her hair. Catra drops her new clothes in a neat pile besides the bed and grabs what she needs for her own shower, frowning a bit.

Catra hates water. Since she doesn’t sweat much, because of her physiology, she would rather use a wet towel and a brush. Right now she doesn’t have the patience nor the time. And the water doesn’t seem to like her in return. She’s nearly finished, when the pleasantly warm water turns ice cold. She jolts out of the shower, half-dries herself, puts on the new grey shorts and top, and jump out of the room, nearly tackling Bow who was passing by.

“Pfff. Huhu, Hahahaha!” Bow starts laughing uncontrollably.

“What?” Catra asks angrily. It’s really a bad time to mess with her.

Bow can’t form words anymore. Bend over, laughter increasing, all he manages to do is point a finger at Catra’s head. As Glimmer arrives, intrigued by the racket, she soon joins him laughing even more loudly.

She bolts in the bathroom again and stare at the mirror. She looks ridiculous. Her wet fur makes her look like she’s wearing a strange mask, with her hair forming a halo over her head. If not for the two annoying idiots right out of the door, she would probably laugh at herself too.

As she’s about to finish drying and smooth her fur, Adora’s head appears at the door. She’s not laughing. Again she has an odd strained worried expression. Catra looks furious, which only makes Adora’s face even more weird and pained. Catra stops herself, keeps her silly halo, grabs Adora’s wrist and drags her to their room.

“Why aren’t you laughing?” Catra yells at Adora, once she has closed the door.

“You... want me to laugh at you?” Adora answers. She’s well aware that her question doesn’t help, but she can’t think of anything else right now.

“No! Maybe… No! No!” Catra screams. She suddenly deflates, and drops on the floor, sitting with her back against the side of the bed. “I don’t know… I want you to be you!”

“But I’m me?” Adora seems lost.

“You never stopped teasing me before, even when we where fighting eachother! And now you don’t even chuckle when I look like that?” Catra points at the top of her head.

“But I’m afraid to hurt you…” Adora answers embarrassed. She knows that’s not what Catra wants to hear. But as Catra doesn’t seem to get it, she goes on, “Like when I teased you about your short hair being cute, even though it remind you of Prime, or when I made fun of you about not knowing the things I enjoyed with the rebellion and you looked like you were about to break down.”

Catra’s shoulders drop. Her eyes wander unfocused on the floor. She didn’t think about that. And if Adora hurt her like that, of course Adora would be wary of doing it again. She’s ashamed of herself. She wants to care about Adora, and yet she didn’t stop to think about how Adora felt.

Adora grabs a towel and sits on the bed, right behind Catra. She begins to dry Catra’s hair tenderly. Gently brushing against Catra’s ears as she knows how sensitive they are. Softly down her neck, as she knows Catra is easily startled there. Ignoring the slight scar left by the chip, as she knows it still haunts Catra’s thoughts.

“Thank you,” Catra whispers. “I don’t want you to laugh at me, but you can if you feel like it. I’ll be okay. Don’t restrain yourself for me. I’ll be okay. Just be your stupid self again. I’ll take it gladly.” She chuckles. The hands on her head feel like a dream.

Shortly after, Catra’s hair is dry, and both are sleepy. They lay down on the bed. Catra’s head comes naturally against Adora’s chest. She listens to Adora’s heartbeats and Adora listens to her soft purr, both lulling the other to sleep once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I decided to keep the chapters more or less the same length, so there will be a fourth one instead of having this one double-sized.
> 
> Please share your thoughts in the comments!


	4. To Krytis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting a little bit before the intro of S05E07, following it, then the outro of same episode, and all the space until the middle of S05E08.
> 
> “I’m going to kill your friends!” Catra says to Adora. She knows using that word may make Adora all defensive again, but she has to try.
> 
> “Please don’t.” Adora answers simply and there’s no awkwardness nor worry in her voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer! In this chapter, most dialogs and some descriptions are taken from the show. All rights and credits to its creators.  
> If you haven't watch the scenes included in this chapter recently, you should! They are worth it!

Catra wakes up with a start for the fourth time. She wiggles her ears to loosen them. She retracts her claws. She now takes great care before falling asleep to put her hands somewhere safe. Tail messy, shaggy hair. Catra feels she will have to deal with those for a long time. At least until they do something about Prime. She shivers, sighs.

Safe in Adora’s arms, she can sleep peacefully. But when she’s awake, she sometimes sees flashes, green liquid, visions, a terrifying chant echoing right through her head, an imposing presence over her mind. Catra breathes deeply. Those are dreadful enough when they happen, she doesn’t need to relive them when they don’t! Her eyes are closed, but she puts strength to her eyelids anyway, as if it would make her unable to see those images. ‘Now is not the time to think about that.’ she forces herself to think.

Catra listens to the slow breathing of the girl beside her. Adora is still asleep. She focuses on that sound and try to relax. She wants to believe Adora is still the same Adora, that she didn’t change that much since they part ways. After yesterday’s events, she’s so close to accept it, yet she wants some proof, something silly that would crush her stupid doubts.

Catra has known Adora for so long, she knows Adora. She already thought once, that Adora had changed too much, when Catra let her go instead of following her. She recognises that she was the problem, not Adora, even if it couldn’t be helped at that time. She thought she could not understand Adora anymore, when they just needed to communicate properly again, really. The thought makes Catra wince. Sadness, regrets, she will have to deal with a lot of them. But first, she has to become better in order to confront them.

Catra needs to change, and she’s scared. Changes are not something she can see, not something she is used to. She always liked dark places, because ‘not seeing’ meant she could hide her faults and weaknesses. She felt safe there. But right now, this dark unknown she needs to face only feels dreary and grim. Catra wishes for light, someone or something to illuminate her way. She chuckles with self-mockery. ‘I need a stupidly bright giant princess with a ridiculously shiny sword.’ Her mood softens. ‘Lucky me. I know one.’ Catra reassures herself.

With her eyes still closed, she focuses on said princess. Something’s off, chilly. Not ominous, just a simple lack of warmth except around Catra’s head. She didn’t notice before because she was lost in her thoughts and the temperature inside the ship is quite high anyway. And sure enough, her head is still slightly touching Adora’s shoulder, and her pillow is, in fact, Adora’s right arm. Plus, she can perfectly hear Adora’s breathing.

Catra opens her eyes and raises her head. And here is her dumb proof. Proof of Adora being her same silly Adora. Catra doesn’t even understand how Adora can sleep that way. Apart from her head, upper torso, arms and right leg, Adora is nearly lying on the floor. She’s grinning and slightly drooling. Only not completely falling out of bed because of one leg and pillow-arm. Catra takes a moment to appreciate Adora’s weird posture, probably the result of a long session of sleep-fight, as Sparkles would call it. She notices too late that without the weight of her head, Adora begins to slip on the floor. She flops down softly, not even waking up. It’s stupid, it shouldn’t prove anything, it doesn’t make sense, and yet, in Catra’s heart, it’s enough.

Catra sits on the bed and looks at the whole unrealistic scene, smiling, laughing silently even. It takes a moment for her to force her eyes to stop staring at Adora. As she looks around aimlessly, her sight falls on the new clothes she got from Entrapta the day before. Another step she needs to take.

As cadets in the horde, you couldn’t afford to look weak. Therefore, most illness were hidden, disregarded. Only when it really impeded your duties or if contagious, would you get to know the sweet beds at the infirmary. And you would only be allowed to leave when better, all the while dealing with the care and examinations. Then finally you had to deal with the teasing and mockery of the other, healthy, cadets when you went back.

Catra thinks it fits her situation. She’s in that spot, even if not really sweet given the circumstances, being taken care of, and some part of it is annoying but necessary, waiting to get better. But putting on those clothes feels like accepting she is ready to go face the others, face the past, face what she needs to answer for, face the future too, there’s still a war to end.

Face Adora’s friends. There’s still much to talk about, much to be forgiven for… or spend her life trying. Catra hopes she can do it. Fortunately stubbornness and not giving up are well known to her, even if she used them wrongly in the past. After being so broken, she feels a little bit proud of herself to be able to see some of her strengths again, not only weaknesses. Those people helped, so much. Could she recover if she was talking to them through the bars of a cell? She doesn’t know. She deserves it. She probably would only think of a way to die. She looks briefly at her retracted claws.

Face Adora. That she can do. But that means facing the future, accepting Adora’s friends, maybe _have_ friends. In the slightly chill air of this room, she craves the warmth of it. Of course, the idea of taking only Adora away to an otherwise deserted island feels great too, but that’s not enough. Not enough to truly live. She might do that for a vacation, though. _Vacation_. Another foreign word she learnt recently. As cadets you had pauses, breaks, free times, but never something as strong as a string of days, for which you can actually choose what to do.

Adora starts to mumble, moves, blinks. Catra’s not losing any of it as she looks down from the bed. Adora takes a few seconds to understand what’s happening, still grinning.

“Hey Adora.” Catra says sweetly.

“Hey Catra!” Adora answers. Her grin turns into a smile, she casually wipes the little bit of drool and stands up. She stretches as hard as she can, her muscles visibly sore from the weird posture she ended in. “Let’s get breakfast!”

After an uneventful meal, Catra is back to a staring contest with her clothes. She takes them in her hand. They are light, but they feel heavy. They are slightly coloured but she sees only black. “Arrrrr, it’s just some stupid clothes!” Catra shouts in an exasperate voice. But Entrapta made them for her. Her hand passes over the little hole made for her tail. Her whole body relaxes. Entrapta even made them look like her previously regular clothes, so she would be comfortable in them.

She suddenly freezes. She bursts out laughing as she just imagined herself in Glimmer’s clothes, all pink, blue and purple, deliberately overly flashy, had Entrapta chosen to make them so. She lets out a joyful sigh and starts getting dressed.

Catra makes her way to the bridge where the others are. Well, most of them, because she never knows where Entrapta is. More than once, the princess has appeared before her as if she just passed through a wall or something. Catra stops by the door, still hidden from the others and listen. She’s nervous. She knows they won’t make much of her simply having clothes on, but it’s still bothering her. Another change.

She hears Bow and Glimmer messing with Adora, apparently trying to manifest her sword. ‘Okay’, she tells herself, taking a deep breath. ‘That I know how to do!’ Adora is sitting on the command chair, while the two others are leaning from behind, breaking her concentration obviously on purpose with cheers. Catra steps inside.

“What’s going on?” Catra says casually. “Ooouh, are we messing with Adora?” Not wanting to be outdone by Sparkles and Arrow-boy, she runs to the command chair, jumps and lets herself fall right across Adora’s laps.

“Catra, do you have to sit right there?” Adora asks annoyed.

“What? I’m not doing anything?” Catra answers, which only encourages Bow and Glimmer to renew their fake-cheering. She manages to maintain a teasing grin because of it, but honestly, the only thing she feels right now is Adora’s hands. One gently on her back on the other softly holding under her knees. It feels so natural. She missed it so much. But after what she said to Adora the night before, she can’t stop herself from messing with her yet! She even makes a point of waving her tail so close to Adora’s nose that Adora has to slap it away.

Adora tries to concentrate again, extending one hand forward. Her eyes glow blue, her magic starts to manifest in front of her, but as if on cue, Entrapta erupts on the bridge with a loud exclamation, breaking her concentration, again. At Adora’s exasperated retort, Entrapta starts to explain that this is the best place to pick up a signal and they should be in range soon.

“I- I can’t believe- I’m a day away from meeting my dad!” Glimmer says softly.

Catra glances at Adora. Family. Unlike the others, she doesn’t have something in particular to come back to, yet the idea of being back to Etheria feels nice. She doesn’t have a house, a place to stay, but maybe calling the whole Etheria _home_ is enough for now. She misses it.

However, being back also means the peaceful field trip is over. There is still a lot of trouble ahead of them, home or not. And another serving of trouble ahead of her after that. She stands up, not paying attention to Adora who seems to instantly miss Catra in her now empty arms.

Catra sits at the window, looking into the distant space. Adora comes and stands near her.

“Ready to be home?” Adora says, smiling, but wary of Catra’s reaction to the word.

“Not really.” Catra answers defensively, not really honest. Now that she feels better, the years of training to learn how to hide her emotions, lie about them, come back fast. She wants to change, but it’s not easy, and annoying. All the more when people acts like they know what she feels better than herself. Like they don’t believe her words. Of course they are right, since she’s lying! But still annoying, and frustrating.

Then Catra sees Adora silently frowning. Adora looks- sad? Not disappointed, not angry. At least for her for now, Catra can make the effort. “Okay. Fine! Maybe.” Catra corrects her previous answer and Adora smiles.

They all spend a bit of time on the bridge, waiting to be able to contact Etheria. There’s nothing much to do, except for Entrapta, as usual, who always seems to have tinkering to do, until her trackpad starts blinking and beeping.

But the news are bad. A terrified Perfuma explains that the rebellion’s members are lost to Prime. Catra shivers at the hint of them being chipped. And there seems to be a blockade around the planet. The connection breaks.

For the next moments, Bow tries to establish the link again, while Entrapta is searching how to display the space around Etheria. Once she does, it looks even worse. There are at least forty ships out there, probably more in the surrounding systems, and without a better idea, Adora seems set on trying to force her way through! Glimmer is raging against her own powerlessness. ‘Reckless and brave-stupid!’ Catra thinks again. But the prospect of falling into Prime’s hand again is too much, so she tries her best to dissuade Adora.

Fortunately, Bow is a little more level headed than the others and sides with her. Of which he does make a point to note that it feels weird. Catra likes it. Bow is honest, he’s discovering something new, agreeing with his former enemy, and it feels weird because it’s unexpected. That’s all there is to it, and that’s why he said it. They proceed to talk about an eventual hypothetical weakness that Prime could have, when suddenly Wrong-Hordak helps, even if not on purpose.

“We do not discuss Horde Prime’s weakness, we do not discuss Krytis.”

Catra had not thought much about it until now, but she realises that this clone has been connected to Prime for way longer than her, so if she has some dim flashes and vague memories left from her time chipped, he probably has way more. However, it seems that Bow inadvertently scrambled his brain, as Entrapta said, so his mind is probably a big mess. And he seems particularly conflicted between his faith to Prime and being useful to the crew.

Catra doesn’t expect more from him, but the name _Krytis_ comes back to her. She concentrates, winces from the mental pain that simply thinking about the chip induces in her mind. She frowns, she endures it, her fingers unconsciously reaching for the chip. Flashes. Images. Memories. Pain. A collapsed Horde spire.

“It’s a place. A planet.” Catra says, as Entrapta is already typing at Darla’s controls. Quickly enough the planet is found, and located with the help of Adora’s superpower over the ship. Catra feels odd. Of course if she had been given her own ship, a strange sword and the power to transform into a bigger taller muscled version of herself by people who lived a thousand years ago, she would do some crazy things like leaving the Fright Zone too!

Since Adora’s previous plan to punch through the blockade is scratched, or at least put aside, they make their way to Krytis. Space is huge. Giganticly so, Catra thinks. But as much as it can take days, weeks or more to tour the universe in a ship that fast, when you travel inside the same quadrant, well, it’s a matter of hours, if not minutes. So there’s much to do during the journey and not much time. 

They all follow Entrapta’s instructions to check the spacesuits, tools, and other things that will be necessary on an unknown, potentially dangerous, maybe abandoned, creepy planet. Once again Catra is en route with barely a plan, surrounded by crazy people who seem to think that everything is fine and under control. At least that one is away from Prime’s grasp. She doesn’t mind a bit of danger and adventure, but she has trouble enjoying it when it is so far out of her hands. Reckless. Brave-stupid.

She looks at the others while they get off the ship. Of course. They trust eachother. They don’t need to fear the safety of the spacesuits because they trust Entrapta. They are not scared of enemies because they know Bow and Adora can fight, and Glimmer has their back anyway, even though right now she has no magical power. And they all trust one another to improvise well enough to complete the plan as they go. Catra trusts Adora. ‘But Adora is an idiot.’ she thinks, so can she just trust people simply because Adora trusts them?

She trails a little behind the group, as they come in view of an abandoned horde spire. It’s laying on the ground, collapsed to its side, partially in rubble. Once again, her body reacts as she is powerless to hide the fear and anguish. She sighs, frowns, a hand unconsciously reaching for the place where the chip was planted. She knows that if not for the restrictions of the suit, the fur of her neck would be standing, and her ears flattened. She tries to compose herself, forcing her hand away. But as she lets an exasperated noise escape her mouth, she looks at her tail, all puffed up. She flattens it, still annoyed before rejoining the others.

The group makes its way inside the spire. Entrapta is curious and touches everything that piques her interest, even taking some kind of electrical shock in the process. At least Catra is not the only one with hair standing up now.

Entrapta seems ecstatic. She finds a way to connect Wrong-Hordak and her instruments to the spire and starts searching for information. She soon confirms that the helmets are not needed, and all but Catra take them off. Catra’s mind is still uneasy, and she only half-listened.

A chuckles from Bow draws her attention, and as she turns around and asks “What?” she can see that he’s going to say something stupid. Catra tries to justify not taking her helmet off, but it only encourage Bow to crack his joke anyway.

“If my helmet was that adorable I’d leave it on too!” Bow declaims, before breathing in loudly and carries on in an overly theatrical fashion. “Those ears!”

Catra quickly glances at her ears, torn between finding that stupid remark funny or annoying, but the latter win easily. In all his kindness, Bow is quite skilled at making fun of people. In her irritation, she has trouble taking off the offending helmet, but when she finally does, she freezes. Bow is obviously giggling a little, Glimmer also.

And Adora is laughing too. In fact, she is laughing hard enough that tears are gathering at the corners of her eyes! Catra feels warm. How long has it been since she last heard Adora’s laugh. Not strained, not chuckling, not nervous, but simply laughing out loud. She feels her eyes glued to Adora’s face, she can’t look away. She smiles. She knows Arrow-boy is looking at her, ready to make another joke, tease her for the stupid face she’s probably making, but she does not care. Right now, there is only Adora, and a warm bubbly-fuzzy feeling growing back in her heart.

The moment is interrupted by Entrapta, oblivious to the scene, screaming from behind her instruments that she’s found something. Soon enough, another reckless and brave-stupid plan is made and the mission is about to resume.

Catra feels obliged to point out the absurdity of the plan, which is based on a vague hope that there is a dim hope that there is hope in the first place, but as she does, Bow and Sparkles quickly turn things around mentioning that it is her idea, since she didn’t let them follow the other force-your-way-through-the-blockade plan. They even force her in a weird dance, singing and laughing “Catra’s first mission!”. Catra is annoyed, happy, but still annoyed! She ducks out of it and Adora’s hands gently catch her shoulders to steady her.

Catra walks away dramatically uttering an annoyed growl, but she still feels warm and so close to Adora. So she takes a risk.

“I’m going to kill your friends!” Catra says to Adora. She knows using that word may make Adora all defensive again, but she has to try.

“Please don’t.” Adora answers simply and there’s no awkwardness nor worry in her voice.

Catra continue to walk away in the same annoyed manner, but she doesn’t need a mirror to know that she’s blushing and smiling like an idiot again.

Entrapta and Wrong-Hordak stay behind, guiding the others using communication earpieces. But as they advance through the ruin, their path is suddenly blocked by a wall, where there should be a door. It doesn’t seem to have been caused by the collapse of the spire. This wall is just there without any purpose and Entrapta confirms it with the schematic of the place.

Becoming impatient from their lack of planning, and starting to be dragged along by their way of doing things, mostly improvising and hoping for the best it seems, Catra unsheathes her claws and open a passage through the wall.

While arguing with Bow about the safety of slashing random things, Catra doesn’t pay attention to the rest of the group. But Adora is looking right at her, smiling fondly, proudly, a warm bubbly-fuzzy feeling making her blush slightly too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! All my She-Ra works are related, [check my main serie for more informations!](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2056884)
> 
> Please do share your thoughts in the comments!


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